lost in autumn

for the first time I'm looking for something which I should like.

time to experience the phrase saying "get down to the brass tacks".

it's unbelievable that I cannot find anything interesting!

am I crazy or really depressed?

here's the thing:

I need to find a professor whose research I like which means I'm interested to do research just like his/hers but I cannot find any area of research which I can pursue interesting!

that's my problem. my little tiny problem.

maybe it's time to change.

should I swerve into psychology direction? which I have a feeling for it.

or, it's just because of depression and when I start study and research in one of computer related fields all these dark atmosphere will be gone!

who knows?

do you think it's time to see a psychiatrist?

?are we open for it

Shall we experience better days.

utopia is just another bedtime story

All right!

That's enough.

Steer this half-wrecked boat out of misery if there is no victory.

is it a good time to kick over all things

After spending years of study and research in computer and data science now I can say I do not like this field.

You can say I'm crazy or stupid, I don't argue with that though I do not accept it. It is impossible for me, now, to convince you other way around.

Only if I were after money or job or anything this field could offer, I would stick to it after graduation but I wasn't and am not.

All right, what should I do?

I would act unreasonably enough, if I loved or believed to achieve something, to make them say:

What shall we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?

I say it explicitly

Israel is committing crime against Palestinians and I am totally against it.

Beautiful or what

I don't expect justice anymore, rather I'm looking for a day of peace which I know approaches impossibility if not impossible.

We should say peace cannot be gained before having many many other good things at hand.

And it will be like passing through a spiral that on every spin we will have peace on a higher level; I hope.

May or may not we have absolute peace, but think of it if we gain absolute peace! wow!

I see that world resets and puts itself on a higher level every time it reaches the end of each spin on the spiral.

So, we are getting better even if we do not want to.

until the doomsday string me along

What is prettier than the sound of rain in the silence of night.

بی‌رنگ شدن غربت

سرماخوردم

بدن درد دارم

کمی سرفه دردناک

و آب ریزش

و به اندازه کافی سردرد و سرگیجه

حالم خوبه

حالم خیلی خوبه؛ باور کن

اومدم حس حال خوبمو به اشتراک بذارم

هر موقع مریض میشم یاد این شعر سهراب میفتم که میگه

«بد نگوییم به مهتاب اگر تب داریم،

دیده‌ام گاهی در تب، ماه می‌آید پایین،

می‌رسد دست به سقف ملکوت»

I like to add that fever softens my insides,

It makes my heart more than ever hearty.

I'm not getting sentimental or lugubrious but becoming true.

the way I see you should act in

Big days are waiting to see you blossom.

This is foreordained.

Don't count days,

Take the straight path to those days, instead.

This is your task as a human.

طمع دانستن خوبه؟

تنها چیزی که برای من هزینه تراشیده «ندانستن» بوده.

آشنا با نه

هر کاری کردم نشد که نشد.

So, I am desperately in need of a myriad of problems

I hope to be successful in carving a white soul out of this serendipity that embodies me.

wind by you

When I listen to a wonderful music I feel like I wanna write!

Write on a piece of paper with pencil or sometimes put some words here.

Is there any relation?

Sure, I mean, there should be!

Both are rooted in the same place.

You hear something good it spurs you to do some similar thing.