Infertility and decades of being the stroker on life's tandem - 1

Why do my efforts end in futility? Because the captain wants it, like Warden in Shawshank? Should I break the prison by myself disregarding what I have been respecting since I saw them for the first time?

I'm thinking about Iqbal who once had a dream in which he observes himself as a follower of Hegel where Rumi comes to his dream.

There are different stories about that dream, in some of them it is Shams that comes to his dream.

The one that I like is that, Iqbal sees himself to be captive of Hegel in his dream alongside all of the universe including the sun and  suddenly he sees a light rising from the east. The light gets closer and greater while Hegel becomes smaller until nothing can be seen because of the intensity of the light. When the light becomes close enough Iqbal realizes that the light is Shams! In that moment Hegel is disappeared. It's been said, after this dream Iqbal returns to the philosophy of east and becomes a follower of Shams and write this poem, to suggest that Hegel's philosophy is abortive despite its justifiability:

گر چه فکر بکر او پیرایه بندد چون عروس - ماکیان کز زور مستی خایه بندد بی خروس

That's poor Hegel in the dream is kind of like me =)) Yeah I am Hegel =))

Am I wrong in the base? Which makes my efforts so fruitless just like Hegel's philosophy?

If it's true, what should I do? More importantly what can I do? Change everything? every thing? Is it possible? More vital, is it reasonable?

I do not know what to do.